It's Only Just!

So almost two years ago, I got to see Carol-Anne Cole speak at a conference—and one thing above all else stuck with me.

Just.

It's only one word, right? Only a little, insignificant, four letter word. Yet something Ms. Cole said made me think. She said to eliminate the 'just,' because almost every time you use it, you're demeaning or minimizing something.

How many times do we call someone, and when they answer, we say "…oh, it's just me?" Or, we tell people we just wanted to say hi? Or "I was just thinking…."

It's belittling. You call someone, it's not just you, it's you! I want to say hi? Then I want to say hi! And "I was just thinking…?" Ugh. Yes, I have a brain—and it even works most of the time. I'm never "just thinking."

So…I don't use the J word anymore. I notice when you do, and I wince a little every time. It kills me a bit inside, and it makes me feel small—even when you're doing it to you.