Parenthood

Today, I've been pondering parenthood. Or more specifically, styles of parenthood. I've seen parents who have so many different attitudes towards their kids and other kids…it puzzles me.

Due to confidentiality issues, I can't disclose what truly made me wonder today—but they were two different attitudes and behaviour sets that didn't strike right to me.
I don't know yet if I will be a parent, and if so, what kind of parent I will be. I'd like to think I'd be 'good,' though good is so intensely subjective. I'd like to be accepting, understanding, lenient and firm, politically correct and always using my head.

I'd like to never get angry, never be loud, never dole out unjust punishments.

I'd like to teach my child(ren) to be mature, responsible and kind people. I want to instill love, rarely embarrass, and have them always know I'm in it for them.

I never want my children to question my love for them, my dedication to them, and my endurance for them.

I want to always know my children are taken care of, and never need something I can't provide. I want to give all of my self, but have enough to give more.


I realize this is hardly rational, hardly practical, hardly feasible.

Yet, I still want it. Do all future parents feel this way? Does everyone have an ideal relationship in mind, and strive to reach it? Does my craving for perfection outweigh my ability to guide?

Could I ever succeed? Could you? Will you? Did you?

Well Okay Then

I had the weirdest dream last night…I was a detective-type, working with my mother (who wasn't my mother in the dream), to solve a crime that a friend of mine had done. Then his partner in crime, a client of mine (whaaa?) told us where to find him…and that four eight years she had pretended to be his young daughter, as that made it easier to panhandle. I guess they lived on the street—but now they were lovers.

So then when we found my friend, he told us about his 'school' days, and we walked up this impossible long staircase to the top, where his art class had laid all their projects (I think the only class was art).

It was a really slippery mountain thingy, so I kept slipping and sliding off the ramp the art was on—I ended up practically laying on the art to stay up.

My friend's art was really good—it told stories relevant to the conversation we'd had on the stairs, about bacteria in rubbing alcohol, and how it would kill you. Then on the flip side, it looked good at start, but when the teacher came over, we started critiquing it and it was lousy (but still the best ever, I think).

One of the mediums used was my makeup…my powder foundation was used a lot…I think that was it.

Then, we started talking about the lines of the drawing, and suddenly the teacher and I are altering the art, and he's asking my how far I want the letters to go down, do I want them to block the_____?

That's when my alarm rang.

Can anyone analyse dreams? What does this one mean…??