Lucky Land

So I met with my potential landlady today—things went really well! I'm definitely looking to find a job and stay here for the forseable future…!

Trimmed To Travel

I've been (sketchily) following the BodyRock program, and doing some more walking and jogging. Tonight I've got a 2100h jogging date with some girls on my floor—night jogging, ready, okay!

I don't know what that was about—apparently I'm on a cheer squad, too…?

Couldn't hurt. For me, the hardest part is getting up to do the workouts—especially if I don't have to be up for a while. Hmph. Once I get past the first week, though, I'll be getting through it easier as it becomes a routine. Definitely looking forward to it!

On another note…I'm looking into going abroad again this summer (the travel bug seems to hit me around this time each year…). This summer it would be a working holiday to Ireland, for May-mid August. I'd be doing this via the SWAP program, and have a one-year visa to Ireland. The reason I'm holding off on France and the UK is simply because I don't want to only have three and a half months there—I want the full life of my visa. One year for France, two for UK.

I can see me living and working in Edinburgh, travelling up to Stirling and around Loch Ness, down to London, visiting the southern parts of the island…hmm.

I can equally see my self in France, perhaps back in the Bordeilles region that I was in last year.

I also considered Australia, New Zealand and South Africa, but I think Ireland would be the country I'd be most okay with visiting for only three months—especially since I've already been there. I've toured it, now I want to live it!

Meow

I bawled today. I was talking about my cat—he's absolutely stupid—and how he peeks his tongue out the tiniest bit so he can suck on it. I'm going to miss him so much…I've never, ever not lived with cats. Ever. Dorm life will be quite challenging in that aspect, methinks.

Sentimental

My brother was being a total sweetheart today—when his class went on a trip to the local farmers' market…he let me have some of his black jelly beans (the only ones I eat; he happens to love them, too) and a make-up sample from Avon, I think. It's completely not my colour—I wear red lipstick or no lipstick—I was so touched….

I'm going to miss him.

Small To Smallish

No blog last night… I was with a client until late (oddly enough, earlier than I am writing this one!), and was exhausted, especially after the event I worked earlier.

Today, though, when I went to get my groceries for the week, I was thinking about small towns. I've lives in this one, with barely over 2300 people, for almost seven years. Next year…I'll be in a town with well over 17000. I think they even have a movie theatre…! (Local joke, the nearest theatre is a forty-five to hour long drive.)

I'm going to miss this place…as much as I complain about the lack of 'stuff' (ie; theatres!), it's still become a hometown. I like to think of myself as a city gal, but…who am I kidding? I don't even know anymore. Maybe in ten years, I'll be moving back here.

For now, though, I want the heeeeyll outta town!!

Profound…?

It's been a while…I've been swamped with a cold, school work up to here, and this crazy thing called Grad.


I helped with the decorating committee today, and it sort of sunk in that, holy shiznit, this will all be gone in two months. Literally. (Insert exclamation swear word of choice….) Wow.


So after that, I went an swung on some awesome swings that I actually didn't use when I attended that school, and I attempted philosophy. My life has sort of evolved around those swings for the nearly-seven years I've lived here. When I was young, going to that school the swing were alternately where the dweebs played, or where the ultimate cool kids played. Either way, me, the new girl again, didn't make a run for them. 
Then I went to the junior high, where the elementary swings were sort of laaaaaaame…so little kid!
I've worked with kids all my life, though, so swings were a way to hold on to that…perfect place to supervise from, too.
High school…I sit on the swings before I pick up the kids after school, going as high as I can. I want the freedom they used to be…. Now I went, tonight, alone, because I could. There was no one saying be here, or there; I simply was. It was brilliant.


I reflected on my screw-ups, my make-ups, everything in between. 


I'm so ready to leave, I don't want to go.

Surprise! Here's something i've been working on for a class…if you would take the time, it would be great!

Hectic

No post last night, but that is due to another maga-essay session. I had to rework a lot of it, and still didn't have the zinger conclusion I wanted. Lovely. I also have a Math exam to finish today, so I'll study that during my spare block, before I leave.

Big news: I got an interview call from a bursary I applied to, so the interview is today (during said spare block…). Another busy, busy, busy day!

Double Duty

I got some interesting news today—I have the potential to do some college credits this year, and they'll count for high school, too! I'm looking into the Introductory Psych class at the local college, and I really think I can do it!

Woo hoo!

What's your favourite jump-the-gun moment?

Baby Steps

Well, in the last twenty-four hours, I've managed to hit 200 hits…teehee, no pun intended. To celebrate…I shall go to bed early in preparation for my second semester starting tomorrow, and think on whether or not I'm really ready to go away next year. I almost cried in my Fashions class today—I'm going to miss it, and my amazing teacher, soooo much!

What did/do you miss most about the past?

Parenthood

Today, I've been pondering parenthood. Or more specifically, styles of parenthood. I've seen parents who have so many different attitudes towards their kids and other kids…it puzzles me.

Due to confidentiality issues, I can't disclose what truly made me wonder today—but they were two different attitudes and behaviour sets that didn't strike right to me.
I don't know yet if I will be a parent, and if so, what kind of parent I will be. I'd like to think I'd be 'good,' though good is so intensely subjective. I'd like to be accepting, understanding, lenient and firm, politically correct and always using my head.

I'd like to never get angry, never be loud, never dole out unjust punishments.

I'd like to teach my child(ren) to be mature, responsible and kind people. I want to instill love, rarely embarrass, and have them always know I'm in it for them.

I never want my children to question my love for them, my dedication to them, and my endurance for them.

I want to always know my children are taken care of, and never need something I can't provide. I want to give all of my self, but have enough to give more.


I realize this is hardly rational, hardly practical, hardly feasible.

Yet, I still want it. Do all future parents feel this way? Does everyone have an ideal relationship in mind, and strive to reach it? Does my craving for perfection outweigh my ability to guide?

Could I ever succeed? Could you? Will you? Did you?

Flatlined

I am utterly exhausted today. It's been a trying day at the house, as anything holiday-related always is. Today we finally took down the decorations from their celebration. I don't celebrate, but I can't denounce it completely while I live with them. I'm so ready to leave this place today.

Sister Of Mine

I've been thinking of my sister a lot today. Thinking of us through our (albeit short) lives so far.

When she was born, I was a stubborn little kid who firmly believed (don't laugh!) that sisters could only ever have little brothers. So, my new baby sibling had to be a brother. You can imagine my dismay when I saw for myself she was a…well…she. (In her honour, though, by the time my brother came around, I wanted another sister sooo badly, and I was convinced that the opposite of what you wanted came true, so I professed to wanting a brother. And I got…a brother.)

We (my sister and I) fought all the time when we were (younger) kids. I remember a few games we played, though…the most memorable being spin-offs of her favourite movie, Land Before Time blahdeblah (I still hate those!) and our favourite TV show that we both could stand—Jungle Run. Man, I miss that show…!

I remember some of the really good times, for me anyway. Like when I took a school project that was due, and turned it into a story for my sister. It was a dino story (stupid movie influence…!) about the first snow ever. For a nine-year-old's writing, it was pretty decent. And then there were photos of the 'snow' happening…I wonder if we still have it somewhere.

Our, or rather, her early years at school were difficult for us. We fought more than not, and she caught on pretty quick to my 'race you to school so we're there sooner' tactics. (I was sooooo smart!)

Her friends, too—I've rarely liked any of them. That's a whole barrel of oil I'm not opening now! I finally like one of the few she's got now. I didn't like her five years ago, but she's grown into her own, and I really like her. She's good for 'my girl.' And I even have them both on Skype (which makes me feel like an ancient relic!)

Resolution

Well, welcome to the New Year! There's a few superstitions about this one, as there are with every year, and I suppose they'll all be proved or disproved by this time next year. 

As a member of the 'Y2K' grad class, I'm pretty excited, and stressed. My first exam is in two hundred ninety-six hours and thirty minutes, give or take. And this is a biggie—an official Alberta Diploma exam. I have my disputes with the exam system, as most people around here do, but it's too late for me to change it in time for me to wiggle free. Ah, well. It'll be interesting, that's for sure!

My real reason for typing this post at 0130, January first: I pledge to blog every day, excepting extreme circumstances, for the next three hundred sixty-six days. The next year. No minimum word/letter/sentence count, and no horsefeathers. 

Are you ready? I hope I am, because I shall have to be. As a close, here's the last set of photos taken of me in 2011—the henna I had done on the twenty-second.

And the first this year. Happy and successful Year, everyone.

What A Rush!

This weekend has been both hectic and oddly relaxed. Actually, I suppose the hectic started Thursday—I found out I'm eligible for a French exchange this summer, and I desperately want to go. I'd be spending July with a family in France, then someone in that family, my exchange partner, would come back to Canada with me in August. Wow. 

It's fairly expensive, for eight weeks, but wouldn't it be worth it? It's about four thousand dollars, plus spending money…and I'd be taking a sever loss of pay. So really, the financial cost is huuuuuge. Almost, if not more, than next year's tuition.

Speaking of tuition…Friday, I got a letter from my second choice school, saying they've offered me early/conditional acceptance to the program! Then Saturday (…yesterday!) I checked online for my first choice's decision, to see if they'd started processing my application.

Guess what?

Early Acceptance, baby!

Oh sweet mother of toasters. This is fabulous! The only things missing in my application are A) my final transcripts, which will be sent in June; and B) an application/ approval for residence. (At this school, any first-year under twenty-one is required to live in res. Fine with me!)

So wait, what does this mean? It means next year, I don't have to go to my third-choice school and stay out here in Asscrack, Alberta. (My school is is Lower Back, Alberta—slightly less stinky!) And while this means I am unable to go to my true fist choice, U of Stirling, I'm okay with that. I doubt I'd be able to handle the distance right away, anyway. And the price…one hundred thousand for my Undergrad degree. I'll go there for a Master's in a few years.

Now that that's all out of the way…I've been baking! My pudding for Book Club went well, and the author we had visit wants to read my stuff for when she does her Writer in Residence in March. Very exciting. 

As for today, I'm in the middle of baking right now!

The recipe is taking a lot longer to cook than expected, but that's normal for this elevation. I'm making White Chocolate-Orange-Cranberry Blondies. 

YUM.

Well, I suppose I should head off, make sure these goodies are all right. I'm so excited to eat one!

What's your favourite winter baking? Can you make it yourself or does it come from another's kitchen?

It's Almost Real

So yesterday, I applied for school. There was a deadline for free money—I had to be applied to one or all of the three schools by December 01 (tomorrow). And, as the security in the application site doesn't work with my browser, I had to do it at school (meaning I missed a yearbook meeting, the first in the actual lab.)

It's almost starting to sink in—next year, I won't be going to elementary, junior high or high school…I'll be done with that. On to the next thing—school that'll cost me upwards of $10 000 a year, for six years. Why so long for a simple undergrad degree? Well, that's interesting you ask.

The one school that I really want (that is in my country and doesn't cost me $100 000 to attend) actually doesn't have the program I want‚ Education. Soooo…what I'm going to do, assuming I'm accepted (knock on wood…) is attend my choice school for four years, acquire a Bachelor of Arts in __________, then hopefully transfer to a school on Vancouver Island to do a two-year after-degree in Education. Getting my Ed degree in British Columbia would allow me to teach in BC, as opposed to stinkin' ol' Alberta.

Translation: Vancouver, here I come! Slowly but surely….

I would really, really like to work in an alternate school, because everything I do, study, read, watch, you-name-it, proves that the school system I've spent the last eight years in is fucked messed up. Really—spend an hour looking at how children learn, pre-kindergarten, and tel me how the school system works with that.

Children are so naturally curious, so invested in learning everything around them…and then we stick them into half-hour blocks where everything is chunked up, and expect them to sit in a desk all day. No wonder we have kids that fall through the 'cracks'…they're not cracks, they're gaping holes that were built into the bowl.

The current system is built for twenty-five percent of the population. Twenty-five percent. Tell me that's fair. I dare you.

Anyhoo, I want to challenge that, and find ways to make the 'aha!' moments not such a rare thing. I don't know if you've ever spent time with children, or students, but when they get something—and I mean really get it—it's amazing. Their whole face lights up, and you know they've got it because you can hear it in their voice.

I had a moment like that today—one little boy, seven or so, that I've been working with for that past few weeks, got a math concept today…it was amazing. I was grinning the whole way back to the high school—even loosing my favourite card game to a beginner couldn't dim it. (In my defense, I was out second to his first. Beginner's luck—I'll get him next time.)

What are you going to do next year? Are you taking a big step? How will it change your world?