Cram

Tomorrow's my first midterm—Politics. Then a quiz in French, then nothing, then Spanish exercises. Jolly.

I don't really know what to do for Poli Sci, but I know I need to go over my French stuff before class, as it's a double period and we'll go through a less on after the quiz.

Ugh. Why is school now, after twelve years, finally making an appearance?

Conflicted

I feel so conflicted lately.

I'm guilty—not writing here, not able to provide the supports for a dear friend who seems to need them.

I'm frustrated—nothing inspiring to write, a lack of words to say to said friend.

I'm hurt—can't seem to move 100% past the pain that has been dogging me for months.

I'm scared—worried for my friend, worried for my heart health (again), terrified of the abyss that is university.

I don't really know what to do right now. I'm going to remind myself to get back to blogging regularly, though.

With that on my mind, here's what I've been up to.

I Can't

Okay. I can't do it anymore—after some personal searching, conversations, documentaries, readings…I'm going to do this.

I'm going vegan.

I have no idea how this will work. I have no idea what the reaction will be. I have no idea as to who I'll build a support from (aside from one).

But I'm going to do this.

Textbook

I realized today how blessed I am in my residence. Literally, there have got to be about half of us on my floor who are hardcore tea drinkers, and we've really become very close. I'm not always one for 'big happy family' cravings—I like my solitude and fantasies too much—but this is so appallingly normal, it's been great. I couldn't get over how normal it was for me to go to res, in a university hours away, right out of high school.

With a lot of the crap I've seen, and how my family works, I never really expected to be this girl—the one who worries if it'll be rude to duck out of the room while her roomie talks to her mom. I'm now the girl that crows if my side of the room is cleaner than said roomie's. It's so standard-fare, so 'regular'. My mother would say this is least common denominator. To be honest? I like it. I want a bit of LCD in my life. I want to be able to say I did one 'textbook' teenager/young adult thing, even if that textbook was written in 80's America.

I really don't know where this is going—first week drain and all—but I guess I could say it's going towards the fact that I'm content. I've had to change to slide in around these people, but I think it's an educational change, and not a permanent, "You can never be you again," change.

I'm pleased to be here.

What was the most 'textbook' thing you ever did?

Cargon: New Book Soon!

I got an update from Goodreads to day, linking to this article. As you might recall, some time ago, I wrote a post about the first installment in the Cargon series. You might also recall that I loved it, quite a bit. In fact, I think the correct term is I  gushed about it.

In case you didn't click through to the article/post by Kimberly Gould (tsk, tsk, lazy!), here's the sum-up: the new book is basically ready for production! That means, by Holiday Season, Ms. Gould is expecting the book to be finished, or at the very latest, January-ish. (Anyone that reads this and feels the odd compulsion to get me a New Years/Thinking Of You gift [my favourite {only} kinds!], this would be the time to read 'Hint, hint!!')

Now that my shameless not hinting is done, let me tell you what I hope for the new book:

Pontificate

It's been a long time—too long, in fact.

I moved into my residence room today (scary!) and met my roommate, who seems pretty well matched. After the fiasco that was my OSEF matching, I was definitely needing a good pairing. We both like tea, don't drink, and have difficult-to-pronounce names. Sounds superficial, but it'll work. Our room is small, and we're both slightly on the messy side, so we've designated a room-tidy day and laid out some ground rules for us both. I haven't yet told her about my orientation, but I think it'll be okay. I'm really hoping so!

What else has gone on this month? I went back to work (I don't remember if I've already said that or not…) for three weeks, made a decent amount of cash, and have got lots of financial stuff sorted out. Hmm….

Oh! Friday night—I was loading stuff into the van, because it's a full day's drive here, and felt something on the bottom of my foot .I went to scrape it off, and misjudged it, instead lifting off the callous on the pad before my pinkie toe. I suppose, in my favour, it was my right foot. Usually this happens to my left….

Anyway, night before I leave, I busted my foot. Hurts to walk and all that—it's really a pain in the ass all around.

I feel like this blog has gone from being somewhat substantial, maybe-even-meaningful to a simple rundown of my day-to-day (or week-to-week, case in point) doings. I want to get back into some actually thought-provoking things…. Is it against internet etiquette to actually say that, though…?

My question for the day, becase I haven't done one in so long, is: how do you live with internet caps? I only get 75GB a month now, and that's costing me nearly $40 a month!! That's…almost 53¢ a gigabyte! Eep. YouTube restrictions, starting now!